If you can learn it, you can unlearn it…
Consider an area of your life where you feel learned helplessness impacts you. This can be a big thing or a little thing in your life. Feel free to start with a little thing like “I am rubbish with technology” or something similar. Once you are comfortable with the process you can use this method to tap into anything bigger or darker looming in the corners of your mind, or tugging at the pit of your stomach.
What you are going to do is try and adopt an optimistic explanatory style…
Begin by writing down your “thing”, whatever it might be. Write it the way it feels, don’t try and pretty it up, just say it how it is. Don’t worry we won’t ask you to tell anyone!
Right now that the hard bit is done… look at what you have written. Really look at it.
Your explanatory style can be categorised in three ways:
Internal vs External
Eg. “I am terrible at public speaking “ vs “people in the crowd always distract me and I can never give a good presentation”
Why does it matter?
An internal perspective translates as “something is wrong with me”…. Try writing it down from an external perspective. What else is at play here?
Stable vs Temporary
Eg. “I’ve never been any good at presenting, it has happened since primary school” vs. “I hadn’t prepared well enough and I didn’t get enough sleep last night, that’s why it went wrong”
Why does it matter?
A stable perspective suggests that you have no power over this situation and cannot change the outcome. Try reframing what you have written from a temporary or short lived perspective.
Global vs specific
E.g “ Every time I speak in public I hate it” vs. “The last time I had to do this for work I found it really hard”
Why does it matter?
If you have a global perspective it can be all encompassing, you will believe that every time you do this thing it will go wrong, regardless of the environment. Try considering what you have written based on a specific situation and consider why you felt the way you did that time. This can help you to recognise what elements are specific to the environment.
Dig a little deeper…
If you have successfully applied this one area, try digging a little deeper. It may feel uncomfortable to start with but it can help you change your mindset. Because if you can learn it, with a little reflection and effort, you can unlearn it!
